I was in love, but soon after we moved in together, the emotional abuse and manipulation increased rapidly. Much of this had to do with his own insecurities and his excessive drinking that he would not admit to. I knew he had a gun; it was safely tucked away in our closet in a pretty floral picture box. It was never discussed. But one evening when I knew it was time for me to leave the relationship, he brought out the gun. He cradled the gun, and I cradled him, as I was afraid he was going to shoot himself or it was a tactic for me to stay.
The next morning I nervously/in shock called a friend, who instructed me to leave immediately. I had to protect/keep myself safe.
I did not actually think he would harm me or himself, but he did. Even though I was far away, I know he had friends and support around. Unfortunately, less then a week later, he died by suicide from a gunshot to the heart. I am a survivor of gun violence.