It’s January 31, 2022, and it still hurts.
My son Allen Jermaine Fields was shot six times in Saginaw, Michigan. He died on the same street I used to play on as a child.
This morning I was doing one of the things on my to-do list. It’s the list I create daily in order to #KeepGoing. That one thing was completing a grant survey.
I’ve been trying to do something for years. To be active in Moms Demand and create a foundation in honor of my son. I admire the women of Moms Demand, like Travon Martin and Jordan Rice’s moms.
I wasn’t active like them. I wanted to, but I kept getting stuck. I get stuck sometimes, and I feel overwhelmed.
Today, I finished my survey, and I’m proud of myself. But then, as always, with the happiness came the sorrow. I could feel Allen’s spirit in me. Then the pain rolled down my cheeks. I know he would be so proud, but I’d rather have him here with me.
Grief is a process. I promise to keep going, son. I love you.