I’m Bella, the mother of Frederick Jonell Gibson. He was murdered on April 27, 2013, in Coconut Grove, Florida (Miami). He was my firstborn, the eldest of my three sons. He was killed in front of where we lived. One fatal shot, which led to internal bleeding. I have been devastated and struggling ever since.
As a teacher, I have panic attacks when I hear of the school shootings, neighborhood shootings, or when I hear sirens or any stories of young men and children being killed. I recently got back in therapy because I am so depressed; at times, I have to force myself to push through my work day. Being around children all day reminds me that my eldest son’s life was cut short, and I pray all day for my students to be safe. Every time a code red drill is called, I have a rough rest of the day.
Anxiety is not what I thought my life would be like for the rest of my days. I can barely stand to go out anywhere, outside of work. I’m constantly stressing and looking at every single person who passes me in the grocery store, to see if they have a gun.