total hearts received for Moments That Survive


My story starts August 2007. That day was rough, arguing with my at-the-time boyfriend of five years. It began outside. As we ended up in the house, he pulled a rifle out and stuck it in my mouth and pulled the trigger. The trigger, by God’s grace, got stuck. Instead of shooting me, he used the butt of the rifle and broke up my face and jaw and kept hitting me until I passed out. I awoke to him dragging me into the kitchen, he hit me with a frying pan in the back of the head and then dragged me into the bathroom and tied me up in the shower. Ran cold water on me and continued to beat me with the butt of the rifle. He then took a hammer to my knees. As I begged for my life to God, he took the rifle and began trying to fix it, pointing it at me, pretending to shoot me in my head. I was just ready to accept my death. He took me out of the shower four hours later. He wrapped me in a towel and dropped me off in front of an ER at the front doors. I can only think that his mind snapped out of whatever happened, and luckily I was found by an ambulance crew who had just dropped someone off.

My jaw was wired shut 10 weeks. I had a concussion and broken bones. I survived and I put him in prison; he served seven years in and was recently released. This last July 2018 I got a phone call from a private number and a man threatening to finish his job and make sure I am dead for putting him in prison. You see, I do not want to be his victim, I am his survivor. I carry concealed, so I waited and worried. Time went by until I got a call from one of our prisons. I called them back to see if they can trace the call. Of course it was my abuser. Unfortunately, he raped and beat a woman two blocks from my house, as he thought she was me.

My guilt has since been overwhelming, but I was ready for him, hopefully now he will have enough time to move on and forget me. I have never kept in contact and I assume my information was given to him by a friend I thought I could trust. Since this I have taken more precautions and changed numbers and work with our DV advocate in case I need to move out of town. My nightmares keep me up most nights. But I’m ready, ready and waiting for the day, if it happens, and our paths cross again. I will not fall victim to death. I survived and will continue to survive.

Reacting shows support for gun violence survivors.