My oldest brother, Pat, was shot in a robbery. The loss and grief are still complicated, 40 years later. I had seen how cruel losing their grown son to senseless violence was — so unfair and heartbreaking — to my parents. I wonder: How strange to live to be older than my brother, who didn’t get this chance. What did I lose all these years by not having Pat in my life? He looked out for me and changed my life in important ways; he astonished me with his humor and had a whole different way of understanding my parents. I wonder at what a loss it’s been to his children and grandchildren.
Thanks for this opportunity to reflect on his loss and memory.