It’s still so hard to talk about this, even 25 years later…
On March 7, 1994, my dear friend Cathy was murdered in her dorm room by her ex-boyfriend. He bought his gun at a gun show, and after killing her, turned the gun on himself. I had just left her dorm room because he was coming over to talk to her. Cathy was 21. I was 19.
I think about Cathy nearly every single day. I still carry the weight of her death and the guilt that I (we) were so innocent and had no idea what some people are capable of when they are hurting.
Cathy was a kind, funny, upbeat soul who was incredibly talented. She was a singer and guitar player. She wanted to be a filmmaker. She was obsessed with the band U2 and made fantastic mix tapes. She was a true, true friend. She listened with her heart and always had the right thing to say to make you feel better. I miss her all the time. I wish we could have kept playing music together. I wish I could have watched her films. I wish she could have met my husband and children. I wish she was here today because she just made the world a better place. I wish, I wish, I wish…
Like many have shared, I didn’t know that I was a “survivor” until last year. This horrific crime has impacted every aspect of my life, and I’m still healing from it. I have struggled over the years with figuring out how to do something about gun laws, and I feel like I have finally found the right spot, where I can collaborate with like-minded people who have also shared this heartbreak. There is comfort here. I wish that we didn’t need to be here, and yet, I’m very grateful that I have found this community. I don’t feel so alone in my grief anymore. I wish you all love and peace.