September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.  Read and share stories to honor survivors whose loved ones died by gun suicide.

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Dustin

It was July 10, 2020, and I had been experiencing auditory hallucinations — voices that kept demanding I kill myself. I spent most of that day pleading to my mom that “they” were going to kill me, but I couldn’t collect my thoughts and really relay exactly who “they” were.

My mother was in the bathroom, and I ran down the hall to plead with her one more time to help me. She couldn’t help because I was making no sense. I quickly ran back to the living room and called my cousin to tell him I could help him with some errands that he’d asked me to help with the day prior. I did this because I didn’t want my mom to be alone after I took my own life.

I pulled a chair into the living room as I yelled “goodbye” to my mom. Just as I was in position, my dog came running and jumped in my lap. I remember falling to the floor and being unable to talk; I lost most my cheek and corner mouth.

I was later diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, which I take medication for now.

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