My son, my firstborn, a beautiful healthy boy!!! He was my heart, so handsome, smart and so charming. Born with the addictive gene that he could not overcome, he tried to make it in a society that shuns felons and addicts. That hamster wheel just kept turning and turning for him — no job, no place to live, not enough food. But always hopeful of what tomorrow would bring. He turned to drugs to cope with daily living and found himself with the wrong associates. They took his life because he knew too much. His body has not been found; at this writing, it is six months. The devastation and anguish of someone taking his life has split me wide open. How will I ever be whole again?