I was homeless in Hollywood when the LAPD were called on me for trespassing. I was trying to sleep in someone’s outdoor tote in their backyard. I didn’t know it was the LAPD until they opened the lid, so I was prepared to defend myself with a knife and hatchet. They all drew their firearms at me and loaded them. They detained me in my underwear and embarrassed me, and every day I relive the moment I thought they were going to shoot me.
Two years later, after putting off getting help until my union told me to, I had built up so much stress from trying to shrug it off my shoulders. I came close to shooting my father and myself the very night before I got professional help.
It hasn’t been long since then, but I’m handling it much better now. I have a feeling that these memories will be a part of me for the rest of my life. I feel ashamed that I suffer from PTSD over something that was my fault, and I have been having a hard time moving on with my life. I hope I can contribute and get support.