I was a victim in the 80s — a relationship that I thought was my future husband turned into a traumatic nightmare. Being a single mom, new to the community and unaware of the tools to protect myself, meant I did not do a great job protecting my children either.
FEAR, along with no family or friend support, meant I wanted to hide the violent abuse of fighting, threatening, breaking furniture, kicking the door open. Sending my kids next door to neighbors became my normal. He would come home when we were sleeping and destroy the apartment. He was strong, and no one could stop him. He would threaten to harm me if I said anything or pressed charges.
He always had a weapon of some kind, and to be honest, the police never could find him after he ran from them. I unknowingly became a traumatized parent, making choices that further traumatized my children. Since then, my kids and I have worked hard to move past the abuse we suffered, and ensure that the generational cycle of abuse was not continued. Now I can say I am a survivor and victor with the skills and tools to make appropriate choices for my future. I want my story to make a difference in someone’s life because I could have become a victim that was killed and my kids could have experienced the trauma of losing a mom.