The CPTSD and all of the physical, emotional, psychological, social and spiritual ramifications from being threatened at gunpoint, followed (stalked) and threatened to be shot, shot at, and in the wrong neighborhood wearing the wrong colors during drive-bys when gangs took root in the city are carried in various degrees on a daily basis by the numerous family members, friends, and students that I know who were either shot, shot and killed, or may have even been shooters.
I was the keynote speaker at an event recently and a balloon popped. My heart rate spiked, and nervous tension and hypervigilance kicked into overdrive. Gun violence is pervasive and touches far more lives than we realize. It took quite some time for me to accept the fact that even though I was not shot, I am still a survivor nonetheless. Not only have I survived the terror, pain, anger, and grief that come from experiencing gun violence, but I live each day with the vast and nuanced symptoms of CPTSD, like the emotional scars, memory loss, hypervigilance, and depression. Daily Self-Care (physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and socially) is the thing that allows me to live not just exist.